Even if you're fresh out of a miserable marriage and new to the singles scene, take a breath.
You can be romantic and take the lead, but exercise patience.
A reader emailed me with the question, "What's the best way to get over falling in love with someone you met via online dating that you've actually never met in person?
" Although I appreciate that the reader thinks she has a broken heart, I had to answer this way...
If you don't sleep with them fast enough, they get frustrated and lose interest." GF #3: "Online daters, especially the older ones, are like kids in a candy store, not ever giving anyone a chance because there's always someone else." My Advice: Slow down.
Don't get too flirty too fast, don't text, and definitely don't sext.
TOO FAST Maybe you're divorced, newly separated, or have been single forever.
That doesn't mean she isn't completely nuts about you, but she has to care for those kids with all she has.
These tenets work for me, but it's important for each one of us to find our own bespoke rules, guidelines, deal breakers, and tweak them as we grow. Falling in love can sometimes have consequences if you aren't careful.
Life is dynamic -- it has to be in order for it to evolve. Falling in love can cause people to do stupid things; things that can have really bad outcomes, simply because they were so blinded by their powerful feelings that they didn't realize the mistake they were making.
And women, lest you think you're off the hook, you're not.
Even though I'm talking to the guys here, many of these points apply to you too. Dating in midlife isn't always easy, but at least you're all in it together, and you can all make it great.